Asking For Help- Why is it so hard? 6 Benefits of Reaching Out For Help.

I find myself asking this question now that I have embarked on this journey of being a mental health counsellor.

I came from the world of physical wellness, teaching Pilates for almost 20 years. People are quite open to talking about their fitness goals in my experience. Wanting to gain strength, increase flexibility, toning, losing weight, etc.

It seems so much more acceptable than talking about our mental health. I have noticed that when I start to talk about my work as a counsellor within my friend groups and places I interact and do business with, that people often say things like, “oh are you going to analyze me now” or “I don’t need any help like that, but good luck.”

I have found myself wondering why is it so hard to reach out for help with our mental health?

I also fully acknowledge that I am in my 50’s and this narrative is changing. I observed when I was in school that the younger generations are very comfortable seeking counselling and talking about mental health issues.

Some reasons that people do not reach out for help are:    

-they may not think there is a problem, (lack of awareness)

- the person may feel they should be able to resolve it on their own

-the stigma around mental health issues, (again I think that is changing)

-cost

-lack of access

-misinformation about what mental health care is and how it can help you.

-It is scary. Maybe what sits beneath the surface feels bigger than us and so we avoid it?

If you are a person that has found yourself asking this question or something similar. Here are 5 benefits that may come from reaching out for help.

1.      Improved communication and interpersonal skills- we communicate better when we know ourselves better.

2.      Greater insights and self-awareness- having a deeper understanding of who we are, what is important to us, and how we move through the world enables us to make better decisions and creates a life that is easier and more in-flow.

3.      Increased self-confidence and self-esteem-being more confident allows us to make decisions from a place of knowing what is best for us and understanding that regardless of what has happened in our life we have innate value and deep wisdom. All we have to do is tap into it.

4.      Development of coping mechanisms and decision-making skills- this one reminds me that when we know better, we do better. When we have skills to make better decisions, the decisions we make are often more in-line with our values and who we are.

5.      Improved ability to problem-solve- education and knowledge is power. Learning a framework that fits who we are enables us to make better decisions for ourselves.

6.      Better conflict resolution and emotional regulation- this has been a big one for me. Learning how to argue in a way where I can say when is important to me, while also hearing the other person, has changed my life. Emotional regulation is basically staying calm in your body and still having access to the parts of your brain that help you to think clearly. We often lose our ability to regulate in ‘high charge’ situations like arguing.

7.      Support- we all struggle in this life. We all need support and sometimes that support is a lifeline to help us find our way back to ourselves and to a way of living that nurtures us. Helping us to remember who we are and what is important to us. We live in an increasingly isolated society. Support and connection are vital to our well-being.

In conclusion, there are many benefits to reaching out for help including getting support, resolving conflict better, having better coping mechanisms, and understanding yourself better. It is important to find someone you like and trust when reaching out for help. It is okay to try a few different people and determine who is the best fit for you.

I also firmly believe that it is never too late to ask for help. I started working with a counsellor when turned 50 and it was the best thing I ever did. The best gift I could give myself and my family. It is hard work, but each of us is capable of doing hard things. We just need to start and take one step at a time. We are capable of so much more then we think sometimes. Each of us has a reservoir of knowledge, strength, and intuitive knowing. We simply need someone to guide us to our knowing.